May 2013
44 posts
“When you start to live outside yourself, it’s all dangerous.”
– The Garden of Eden, Ernest Hemingway (via fuckyeahliteraryquotes)
Recovery
Expectation: I feel a little bit better today!
Expectation: I feel a little bit better today!
Expectation: I feel a little bit better today!
Expectation: Hey, I think I feel pretty good!
Expectation: I guess that means I'm normal now! Time to go live a normal life!
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Reality: I feel terrible.
Reality: I still feel terrible.
Reality: Is this seriously "recovery?" This sucks.
Reality: I don't want to be thinking about all of this shit, this is exhausting.
Reality: I guess today's not so bad.
Reality: Today is bad again.
Reality: Today is bad, but I think I'm starting to understand why.
Reality: Wow, how long has it been since I cleaned my room?
Reality: Cleaning my room didn't make me feel any better, but hey, room's clean.
Reality: Whoa, okay, I need a shower. And maybe a haircut? Definitely a haircut.
Reality: Everything sucks.
Reality: Okay, except you.
Reality: And you too, I didn't mean that you sucked.
Reality: And that thing that I like is pretty cool.
Reality: What was I talking about?
Reality: Oh, THAT'S why my ex broke up with me.
Reality: Wow, it turns out that was totally my fault?
Reality: I was the jackass.
Reality: Holy shit, I am such a jackass.
Reality: Everybody must hate me.
Reality: EVERYBODY HATES ME.
Reality: Okay, how could everybody hate me? I mean, even if I'm a jackass, the Law of Averages dictates that SOMEBODY out there would probably like me anyway.
Reality: Why would everybody hate me anyway, I'm awesome.
Reality: ...I'm not that awesome.
Reality: Sometimes I'm pretty awesome, though.
Reality: OH MY GOD I HATE MYSELF
Reality: WHAT IS THIS, I'M RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED
Reality: EVERYTHING SUCKS, THE WORLD SUCKS, I SUCK, NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE ME AND I WILL DIE UNMOURNED AND ALONE
Reality: ...What the hell was that about?
Reality: Anyway, gonna get stuff done.
Reality: Gonna get stuff done
Reality: Getting stuff done
Reality: WHY DO I FAIL AT EVERYTHING
Reality: WALLOWING
Reality: WALLOWING SOME MORE
Reality: Okay NO MORE WALLOWING, we've talked about this, we're not doing this right now.
Reality: ...I can't believe that worked.
Reality: Huh.
Reality: So hang on, is this it?
Reality: I mean, is this recovery? Am I doing this right? Is it going to be over soon?
Reality: I just want to be normal.
Reality: I am such a ridiculous trainwreck of a human being. How do I even exist? Why do I get to have friends? Why do you people talk to me? There's so much about myself that I really don't like, and there's probably even more stuff that I don't even know about that isn't too hot, either. And I'm working on it, but man, it's hard.
Reality: ...I just realized that everything I just said is normal.
Reality: Oh my God, am I already normal?
Reality: I'M ALREADY NORMAL. THIS IS NORMAL.
Reality: It's...not exactly everything I was hoping for, to tell you the truth.
Reality: ...Oh well.
Reality: Today was okay.
Reality: Maybe tomorrow will be better.
saffg asked: Floss has that toy! But she doesn't love it so much as him!
April 2013
35 posts
